Sam and I are sorry for the lack of posts recently. We have both been really really busy at work and with the family, so we have not had a chance to show our faces! Christmas was very busy as ever and we had my Parents down to spend it with Sam, myself and the kids. On top of this, very late on Christmas Eve, we had a extra arrival. (No Not Santa, he came much later in the night!)
We had an emergency come in, in the form of a 13 year old lad called Abu. Abu is originally from Crimea, which is the same place Kyrlo is from originally. (For those of you who do not know, Kyrlo is our youngest son, we adopted a while back) Anyway, there are legal reasons I cannot go into, why Abu cannot be deported like his parents are going to be. (They are currently in detention in a Immigration Centre) However, Social Services have managed to twist HM Immigration’s arm on health grounds, to give Abu leave in the UK. It means he will be separated from his family, but as I said before, there are reasons I cannot go into for this.
Sam and I got some wonderful gifts this year. I got a new Kilt from Linda and smellies from the kids. Sam got me new car seat covers for the car and a really nice ring, which he had engraved for me. I got Sam a dustpan and brush as a joke, as well as smellies, new steel toecapped boots, a new tablet, plus new bike leathers. He got tons of chocolate off the kids as well. The kids has all sorts of gizmos, from drones, to new Ninteno Switch consoles, DVDs and wonzies! Course, for Linda and my parents,gift vouchers were the way to go, as they can spend them on what they want! Oh and not forgetting Sox…. He got a huge memory foam cushion, which he loves and enjoys stretching out on it in front of the open fire.
On New Year’s eve, we joined the Boarders for a massive NYE bash, which Sam organized, with fireworks being let off at midnight, from the field. We’re both back at work again now and the new term starts next week. Shame Sam and I both have the awful cod going about. It’s not nice!
Anyway, from myself, Sam and our family, we wish you and your family a very Happy New Year and all the best for 2018! (We’ll try not to leave it as long before posting, just in case you wanted to make sure we are still alive!)
Our Super NES came today, which we got on Ebay, so we could do a bit of Retro Gaming. So for this week’s Family night, we have been playing Mario 3 on the NES and completing it without warping, with each of the kids playing a act on each world, before passing to the next person. Kyle and I however, played the Doom Ships, as they are really tricky to navigate.
2 and a half hours later and we have finally managed to reach King Koopa and the epic final Boss Battle with King Koopa on the battlements of his castle in Dark Land. (A sinister land, where it is cold; creepy and very dangerous, with all sorts of traps and several Doom Ship convoys.
The final battle was played by each of us, (Even though we all ended up dying and having to pass the controller round again!) but it was Kyrylo who skillfully defeated King Koopa and rescued the Princess Toadstool.
The final battle is very tricky. You need to avoid Koopa’s “butt stomp attacks” and his fireballs, (Caused by his hideous bad breath! You need to get him to butt stomp the battlements, so that the layers of brick are reduced. In between his attacks, you need to make him break the 3 layers of bricks, so he falls to his death. (Yes, it sounds grim, I know!) Once you have done that, a door will open and you will be able to rescue the Princess Toadstool! (Were Nintendo high on drugs when they created the Super Mario Bros???!!)
Anyway, below is a video of the final battle, so you can see for yourselves. (We didn’t make the video btw, we grabbed it off Youtube.)
Anyway, it was a fun night for all and in a way was a good team building exercise, as we all had to work together to complete the game!
The kids have decided to be deceitful and betraying confidence, after they noticed that Will has one to one sessions with Sam and I. Helping Will make that step back into society, after being locked up. So is important to us; so we can help him get used to life on the outside and I know Will is frightened of peer pressure and that he will be tempted to offend again. This is why these sessions are important, so we can talk about things and we can help to steer clear of the temptations.
Of course, the boys have been trying to get it out of Sam and I about the reasons he is on tag. Of course we will not betray him and tell them, as this is something Will needs to do when he he ready. (Which he is not) So the kids decided to find out once and for all, by planting a distophone in the study. A little later Jenny caught the kids listening to the tape in the Playroom and told me about it. Of course I dealt with it and the kids got a very bad telling off about betraying confidence and starting wild rumours and nasty gossip. Thankfully Will did not have to hear this, as it would of really upset him.
The boys have learnt a lesson about confidentiality, betrayal, starting rumours and also that they are not allowed in the study without permission. (It is a shame that Sam and I now need to keep the door locked, as we cannot trust the boys not to go in there without permission, which is disappointing.
On more positive news, Sam had a really busy night, doing a disco and Karaoke. He had had over 80 singers in one night and the atmosphere was buzzing. He was exhausted when he came home after 1am last night and is currently out doing another disco at the moment and is working again tonight. (Poor Sam! Good thing I have the weekend off!)
Today, we had a new arrival to the family. His name is William, (But we all call him Will) he’s 13 and been put into long term care with us, after serving 2 years for drug offences in a Young Offenders Unit. Originally, he was to be released to the care of the Foxes Unit, which is a secure care unit. However, I managed to persuade the powers that be, that a more family based environment would be better. This took a lot of meetings and visits with Will, Social Workers, Youth Offending Team (YOT) staff, Prison Parole Teams and his Mental Health Workers. This happened over several months, dating back to February, when the planning of his release was being formulated. Will had said that he had been to Children’s Home after Children’s Home and had not been properly understood and that his actions were due to his mental health. While inside, Will did get mental health support and he was finally given a diagnosis, with the correct support. (Medication and therapies and also support to stop him messing with drugs again)
Sam and I are probably the 1st Foster Carers to ever directly take on a young person released from Young Offenders, but we are not being left in the dark. Will has been made an appointment to see his Youth Offending Worker every week and he is also being fast tracked to receive community mental health support. He is also tagged and is not allowed out after 7pm. (But he can go in our garden) We also have Social Services support and we have the number of his Parole Officer if we are concerned about him. He will be attending out school as a day pupil, but for the 1st few weeks; he will be taught on the Day unit on Sick Bay, while he gets used to being out in the community.
Sam and I decided that it was best that he arrived without the other kids being around, so that he could have 2 or 3 hours to relax and to get to know his way around the house and for Sam and I to get to know him outside the . (We sent the kids bowling with Jenny. We have not told the kids about his background, but we have said he has been in trouble with the Police and is currently on curfew. We have not said anything else and we are letting Will tell the others, if and when he feels ready. He seems to be getting on really well with the other boys and already seems to be finding himself part of the family.
Hopefuilly we can help him to stay clean and stay out of trouble. Sam has said that if he goes to all his YOT meetings, therapy sessions and stays clean off the drugs (Possession of Coke was what he was sent down for) and complies with his curfews and house rules, Sam has said he will buy Will a decent Mountain Bike, which is a good way to help him stay on the straight and narrow, as he has something to focus towards.
Sam and I took the kids to Blackpool last week, as we had been invited to a friend’s weeding. We stayed in the Cliffs Hotel, which was really nice. The boys shared twin rooms, while Kyle and I had a double and Jenny had a single. The kids enjoyed use of the swimming pool, the kids club and watching the entertainment in the night club. The kids were treated to a light show like no other, as a violent thunderstorm hit the resort on Wednesday night. The boys sat in the Cafe Bar with myself and Jenny and were counting between the flashes and the crack of thunder.
The next day was the wedding, so we all got dressed up for it. The weather was good, so we got to take lots of pictures after a wonderful ceremony. After, the ceremony, the reception was at a local pub, so with 8 hours of disco and Karaoke,Sam and I were in our element and had great fun singing and dancing. The kids also joined us for a massive conga line, which wet round the bar, down to the family area, out the fire doors, round the car park and back in the main entrance! Sam and I did not get back to the hotel until 1am, as the party went on and on…. Hehe!
Friday was a good day, as Sam took 3 of the older boys to the Pleasure Beach, while the remaining younger boys came with me to the Sandcastle Waterpark. After lunch, we swapped and Sam too the older boys swimming, while I went on the tea cups, the tunnel of love and the slower rides with the younger boys. Later, we had tea at the pub where the reception was and stayed on for Karaoke. The Karaoke host, (George) and his wife (Lorraine) are really good singers and were very encouraging!
Saturday was a day of leisure, so we went shopping and spent the afternoon on the beach. In the evening, we hit the hotel bar again and we let the kids enjoy the kids club activities.
On Sunday, I took the kids up the Tower. If you have never been, it is really worth it! The Circus with the fountain finale was amazing, plus watching the dancing in the ballroom was fun; while we had a drink and a bite to eat. Then I dragged Sam to the top of the tower, with the kids jumping up and down on the glass plate! Sam and I went up to the top deck, while the kids were looking across Blackpool and had a moment to ourselves. (What’s wrong with a quick private smootch from the tower top?
Sunday evening called for Karaoke again and we enjoyed a evening in the company of George and Lorraine. The kids enjoyed playing pool and enjoying the pub garden, while Sam and I had a sing song and a few pints.
We came back refreshed on Monday, to a pile of post and lunch, which Linda had made for our return. (Linda is Sam’s mum btw!)
I found myself in a rather difficult spot, when having to deal with a medical emergency at home. It started when I’d said no to one of the older boys, after wanting a bar of chocolate so near tea. I’d said no for a reason. (He’d not want his tea and I had suggested a piece of fruit instead) However, he decided to storm off and went upstairs. What I didn’t know, was that he knew that another one of the boys had a Fruit and Nut bar in his bedroom. The boy who originally had stashed the Fruit and Nut bar away should of known better, as the kids know anything with nuts is banned from the house.
So this older boy had heard one of the other boys walking up the stairs, so he ran into the bathroom, locked himself in and began eating the bar of chocolate. Of course, he began to go into a allergic reaction and was unable to reach the emergency cords we have in the bathrooms. (We have this, because we have 2 boys who are disabled and the cords allow them to call for help.) He was slumped behind the door and unable to breathe, within minutes his airway will have closed up.
At this time, one of the other boys wanted the toilet, so he went to the 1st floor bathroom. Finding the door locked and the downstairs toilet engaged, he began hammering on the door. I came up to see what the noise was about and knocked on the door to the loo, to see if whoever was inside was OK. Getting no response, I used a 10p to release the lock, but was unable to open the door, due to boy slumped behind the door. Knowing that something was very wrong, I held the door as far as it would open and got one of the younger kids to slip through the gap. When I got told who was behind the door and that there was a bar of Fruit and Nut on the floor and this boy wasn’t moving. I asked if the person behind the door was breathing, (by placing his hand in front of his mouth) sadly he wasn’t. The boy in question could not pull him away from the door, so I told one of the boys to run downstairs to the kitchen, call an ambulance by dialing 9-999 and stating that there is a casualty with anaphylaxis and his Foster Dad was trying to get into the bathroom, to help him.
meanwhile, I had run into our bedroom and gone to the locked box we keep in our wardrobe, which has the kids meds for during the night and grabbed the spare Epi-Pen. (It saves walking down to the Laundry Room, unlocking the cupboard to get the meds and walk all the way back up again at 4am!)
An Epi-Pen btw, is a emergency injector of Adrenaline, used to reverse an anaphylactic reaction.
I opened the bathroom window on our ensuite and climbed out onto the roof of the kitchen. Carefully walking between the pitched part of the roof and the wall, made my way to the bathroom window. I told the other boy to turn away from the window and stand back. I then used a loose slate and broke the glass. I Was able to administer adrenaline and move him away from the door, for when the paramedics arrived. I also performed CPR, until
Jenny went with him to A&E, where he has recovered from the reaction and may be home later. Meanwhile, while all this was going on, one of the boys got on their bikes and cycled down to school, (using the alleyway that runs down the side of the house and down the side of the fields) to fetch Sam. (Who was preparing for his Aikido lesson.
The boys have had a good talking to about nuts not being allowed in the house, (especially chocolate with nuts in it) as well as the consequences of nut products being bought into the house. (IE: severe allergic reactions) What Sam and I have done, is to setup a nut ammunansty. There is a bin outside the office, which the kids can dump anything with nuts in, with no questions asked.
First Aid for Anaphylaxis Emergencies
First, loosen the casualties shirt collar and if he or she is wearing a tie, loosen that too. While you do this,
Ask a bystander to immateriality call an ambulance, (DIAL 999 OR 112 FROM THE NEAREST TELEPHONE) stating that the casualty is in anaphylaxis.
inject the casualty with their auto injector (Epi-Pen) – push it firmly into their thigh until it clicks. Hold for 10 seconds. (The auto injector can be jabbed through clothing)
If the casualty is not breathing, place he or she on their back and perform CPR. (Rescue Breaths will not work, as the airway is normally restricted, so perform Chest Compressions only) – Push hard and push fast, to the beat of Staying Alive By The Beegees)
Once breathing again, place in the recovery position and closely monitor his or her breathing. If the casualty stops breathing, put them on their back again and begin CPR
Show the Ambulance crew what allergen the Casualty has come into contact with, if possible.
I often get asked, why do you Foster? This is not a simple answer, but the long and the short of it, is that there are not enough loving families to protect and support Children and Young People. On top of this, there are not enough Foster Families who are able to support the most vulnerable people in today’s society. (These are children and young people who have either been through trauma, or have enduring mental health problems.
The kids keep us on our toes! They can be a lively bunch, “crazy as a box of frogs, but good at heart. This is why there are 3 of us at home; to help care and protect the kids in our care. Kyle Jenny and I do a pretty good job of keeping the kids happy, safe and well. (We also have extra support on weekends, from my mum. (Linda) My mum used to work as a Unit Leader , on the Birds Unit at work; until she retired.
The kids with mental health issues, (which is 3 of the kids) are the most demanding. As you can probably imagine, all the sharp knives are locked away, as well as locking up cleaning chemicals and that the kids have safety scissors. Also, because we foster kids who are under Police \ Child Protection orders, we have to be careful who can come in and out the house. The main front door is always locked and requires Kyle, Jenny or I to open the door release button in the study. (The door to the study is also always locked, as the kids have a habit of going in there and spilling their drinks on my desk and my PC. The garden is walled in and is safe for our kids.
The kids know they can come to one of us, 24 hours a day. It does not matter if it’s 4am and Kyle, Jenny or I are fast asleep. We are always there, if the kids need a private chat or just need a cuddle. We encourage the kids to talk to us, any time. Talking helps the kids and helps to deal with their problems. Of course, we have to deal with the ups as well as the downs, such as when the kids get certificates at school) But when it all goes wrong, we are always there to pick up the pieces.
You know, Fostering is one of the greatest of life’s journeys. You get to learn a lot about yourself and the kids you look after. You share the smiles, the tears and the tantrums, as well as sharing birthdays, christmas’ holidays and family activities. So If you have a spare room and could offer a child a new start in life, contact your local Social Services Department or a Fostering agency. I’ve had over 20 kids go in and out my house. (Most are either emergency placements or on respite care.) I have 2 on long term placement, as well.
Oh, before I forget… We’ve found out which of the boys flooded the bathroom. That’s got the kids off the hook, except for the person responsible. This person is now grounded for a month and will be paying for the damage to the ceiling.